What If?

Originally, when we first found out about the kiddos, Thing 2* and Thing 3* were in a home together and had been for a while.  Thing 1* was in a home by himself, on a TARC plan, tracking his development and making sure there weren’t any major issues.  We were overjoyed to know that the girls (Thing 2 and Thing 3) were together and living life as sisters.  Today, we found out that all three of the kiddos have been moved into the same home.  What a wonderful family they must be with, a family willing to take care of and love on all three of them.  While this is wonderful news, it also brings doubt to my mind.

There are very few things that could get in the way of this adoption, money being one of them, something I try not to let my mind dwell on.  The other hindrance would be the idea that we are not the best family for these children.  In the end, we must be chosen as the best possible option by all their workers and caretakers.  It is assumed that there are not many families willing to adopt 3 children at once, especially at such young ages and so close together.  The fact had been considered by my husband and I, but never really dwelt upon until now, with the knowledge that there is at least one foster family willing to take care of all of them now.

So, what if we aren’t chosen?  What if we aren’t the best family?

Then so be it.  From the beginning, this has been about the kids.  We know that we have what it takes to be great parents.  We know that we are ready for the chaos that will ensue from the time they enter our home.  We know the emotional energy it will take to raise abused and neglected children.  But it’s not about us.  We are simply opening our home to children that need one, be it these three beautiful Things, or another family of Things in the future.

 

*Disclaimer: We obviously do not consider our potential adoptive children as “things,” but want to offer them a title for you to follow along with throughout our story.  The number beside their title refers to their approximate age, for your reference and guidance.

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The Appellation

Originally when we decided to move forward with the adoption, we were told that once we were licensed, the kiddos would move in and it would be all legalities after that point.  We were informed that their biological parents’ rights had been terminated by the state of Kansas and everything was a go.  About a month later, we found out that both biological parents had appealed the termination.  We processed through a few different emotions after learning this information.

At first, we were devastated.  When you have this picture in your head of how things will go (especially when you have a type A personality like myself), it is too much to bear when that picture changes drastically.  Adoption is not like pregnancy in which you have a pretty good idea how things will turn out.

We had been telling friends and family the time-frame of August/September, knowing we could move into our new house by then and be licensed.  To have to go back and tell them it would actually be more like spring 2012 was rather embarrassing.  We are well-informed to know that adoption is a long process and apt to change at any time, but we weren’t sure if that was the case with the people in our lives.  Why we ever doubted them is a mystery to us now.  Our news was received well, with offers of encouragement and emotional support.  Our friends and family grieved with us and helped us to keep pressing forward.

In the end, the emotion we ended on was relief.  Our future Keckles (the sibling set we intend to adopt) will need to know that their parents did everything they could to make a safe home for them.  They need to have the reassurance that their parents loved them very much.  To be able to tell them about the appellation will hopefully bring closure and understanding to their little hearts and minds.  And in all honesty, we could use the few extra months to build our relationship and prepare (for lack of a better term) for how drastically our lives are about to change.